Tom Walker Tall Talker Wig Rocker (RIP) Lemon Chomper Coconut Knocker Left Turn Shocker YouTube Gawker Tom Walker

I got a brand new piece of mail That I want you to read I think that we should get together And see what these words mean I been staring at it a while And realized I can’t read But I got a brand new piece of mail— I think my eyes are bleeding La la la la la la la mailbag Big Soft Titty

Demi It's shower time Demi The stream is over

With a forceful kick the door splintered off its hinges And clattered on the tile When the dust cleared I could see my killer standing there I stared him in the eyes I was sitting My trousers down around my ankles I was shitting Frozen to the porcelain throne He started chuckling Raised his right hand to aim his gun And raised his left To pinch his nose And I pled Let me stand Before You pull the trigger please Let me stand Before, I can’t let my family see Clean that smirk from off your face Let me wipe and die with grace And meet my maker With a clean slate I lived in luxury Built in bidet and heated seat I knew he’d come for me But didn’t think it’d end in here Three squares of soft relief Heading down to my behind The last thing I do Before I die Is plead Let me stand Before You pull the trigger please Let me stand Before, then I can die down on my knees Return my pants back to my waist Just let me flush and die with grace And meet my maker With a clean slate I'll meet my maker With a clean slate With a clean asshole And a clean slate

What a fucking good segue Now let’s move on It’s time to discuss What popped up in your feed Who are you following? What did you see? Sports or politics Tweets and skeets Hot takes on the TL Fast Food Freaks It’s our Social Media Update!

The legend lives on from the Chippewa on down Of the big lake they called Gitche Gumee The lake, it is said, never gives up her dead When the skies of November turn gloomy With a load of iron ore twenty-six thousand tons more Than the Edmund Fitzgerald weighed empty That good ship and true was a bone to be chewed When the gales of November came early The ship was the pride of the American side Coming back from some mill in Wisconsin As the big freighters go, it was bigger than most With a crew and good captain well seasoned Concluding some terms with a couple of steel firms When they left fully loaded for Cleveland And later that night when the ship's bell rang Could it be the north wind they'd been feelin'? The wind in the wires made a tattle-tale sound And a wave broke over the railing And every man knew, as the captain did too T'was the witch of November come stealin' The dawn came late and the breakfast had to wait When the gales of November came slashin' When afternoon came it was freezin' rain In the face of a hurricane west wind When suppertime came, the old cook came on deck sayin' "Fellas, it's too rough to feed ya" At seven PM, a main hatchway caved in, he said "Fellas, it's been good to know ya" The captain wired in he had water comin' in And the good ship and crew was in peril And later that night when his lights went outta sight Came the wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald Does any one know where the love of God goes When the waves turn the minutes to hours? The searchers all say they'd have made Whitefish Bay If they'd put fifteen more miles behind her They might have split up or they might have capsized They may have broke deep and took water And all that remains is the faces and the names Of the wives and the sons and the daughters Lake Huron rolls, Superior sings In the rooms of her ice-water mansion Old Michigan steams like a young man's dreams The islands and bays are for sportsmen And farther below Lake Ontario Takes in what Lake Erie can send her And the iron boats go as the mariners all know With the gales of November remembered In a musty old hall in Detroit they prayed In the maritime sailors' cathedral The church bell chimed 'til it rang twenty-nine times For each man on the Edmund Fitzgerald The legend lives on from the Chippewa on down Of the big lake they called Gitche Gumee Superior, they said, never gives up her dead When the gales of November come early